Five years ago, on the summer Bank Holiday that takes place today, I said farewell to the oldest friend I ever had, and here’s how it happened.
Richard
Southwell was born on May 18, 1947, two days after me, at Elmhurst Nursing
Home, a maternity hospital at Bingley in West Yorkshire where our mothers were
in adjoining beds. This led to a friendship between our families that lasted
for years, and a camaraderie with Richard that was strong until I left
Yorkshire for the south of England in 1969. Thereafter it was intermittent but
it was rekindled on the summer Bank Holiday of 2011, two days before he died
from cancer at his home in Steeton near Keighley.
The
friendship was probably at its strongest when Richard and I boarded together at
Malsis School between 1955 and 1960. On the outskirts
of the village of Cross Hills between Skipton and Keighley, Malsis was once a
lavish country home in its own extensive grounds, its impressive pillared
frontage approached by a long drive that wound past a small lake through woods
and playing fields. As well as spending time together in school – we were in
the same year, in the same classes – we visited one another on a regular basis
during the school holidays too. He lived at Eldwick, above Bingley, not far
from where my maternal grandparents once lived. His mother and father, Bob and
Dorothy, became friends with my mum and dad and on the eve of every new term we
would all eat out together at the Overdale, a dining and dancing club in
Skipton.
In
my time at Malsis I discovered a love of reading, especially Conyan Doyle’s
Sherlock Holmes stories, and one term Richard and I produced and wrote the
script for a stage adaptation of The
Hound of the Baskervilles in which I played Holmes and Richard played
Doctor Watson. The official school entertainment was the annual production of
Gilbert & Sullivan operettas, The
Mikado, Pirates of Penzance, Iolanthe and others, but it was soon
established that I was tone deaf and I never took part in any of them. Neither
did Richard who also couldn’t sing for toffee, but it was at Malsis that I
discovered and first came to love rock’n’roll and pop music; Richard too but
not with the same obsession as myself. We would have been nine when we first
heard Elvis Presley singing ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ on a 78 rpm record played on a
wind-up gramophone that belonged to another Malsis boy. In quick succession we
also heard ‘Diana’ by Paul Anka, ‘Last Train To San Fernando’ by Johnny Duncan &
The Blue Grass Boys, ‘Tutti Frutti’ and ‘Long Tall Sally’ by Little Richard and
two other early Elvis recordings, ‘Hound Dog’ and ‘Blue Suede Shoes’. I remember
visiting Richard’s house where he had a Frankie Vaughan 78, ‘Garden Of Eden’, and
Harry Belafonte’s 1957 number one, ‘Mary’s Boy Child’. Neither of these songs
were rock and roll but I soon became absolutely hooked on it all, and from that
age the acquisition of rock’n’roll and pop records (and knowledge about those
who performed them) became an all-consuming passion that has sustained until
this day and to a large degree provided me with a life.
Of
course, it’s far too simplistic – and probably also a great exaggeration
– to suggest that the course my life would follow was decided for me at
the age of nine by whomsoever it was that brought a wind-up record player and a
pale blue labelled HMV Elvis Presley 78 rpm recording back to school with him.
If I hadn’t discovered Elvis and Little Richard at this school I would probably
have discovered them elsewhere, probably heard them on the radio, and still
become hooked on them – but not only can I recall the actual room where I heard
my first rock’n’roll record, but also where the wind-up gramophone was located
and even where I was standing in relation to it.
But
I digress. Richard
and I went to different schools after Malsis but because we never forgot how
close our birthdays were we often exchanged greetings, cards and phone calls
until the arrival of faxes and then e-mails. My Skipton band The Pandas played
at a party at his family home in Eldwick around 1966, and my dad and I were at
his (first) wedding in the early seventies. We stayed in touch in other ways
too, me occasionally dropping in to see him at his home in Shipley when I went
up to visit my dad in Skipton before he died in 1997. In 2009 Richard and his
(second) wife Janet visited us at our home in Surrey. We always had a lot of
catching up to do.
Richard worked as a travel agent in
Bradford but in May 2011 he didn’t respond to the e-mail I sent on his birthday,
nor had he e-mailed me on mine two days before his, so I called his office and
was informed that he was off sick. So I called Janet and was shocked to learn
that he was in the final throes of cancer. I wrote to him as follows:
“As Janet will have
told you following my phone call earlier today, by a circuitous route I have
just discovered to my profound sorrow how sick you are. I was quite lost for
words actually as I had no idea whatsoever that you were ill, let alone how
serious it was. It is an understatement to say that you and your family have my
every sympathy.
“We were 64 last
week. On the eve of my birthday Olivia, my daughter, who is now 19, played the appropriate
Beatles song and handed over a bottle of wine, as per the lyrics. Sam, now 16,
said he liked the song because Paul McCartney sounded so cheerful. I told him
that Paul had written the song long before The Beatles became famous, when he
was 16, your age. ‘How do you know?’ he asked. ‘Because it’s my job to know
these things,’ I told him. Then we all sat down to a roast lamb dinner and, for
once, I was excused the washing up. For desert Lisa produced home-made crème
caramels, my favourite, from the fridge. The following morning, my birthday, I
stayed in bed an extra hour but still went to work. I don’t think I’ll retire
next year, nor do I think Music Sales will insist upon it. Just because I turn
65 doesn’t mean my accumulated knowledge of the history of rock and pop will
disappear overnight. I’ll still know that Paul wrote ‘When I’m Sixty-Four’ when
he was 16.”
After
a paragraph or two of family news I closed my letter to Richard as follows:
“Sixty-four years
ago this week ago our mums occupied adjacent beds at the Elmhurst Nursing Home in Bingley,
and I would like to have been a fly on the wall, listening to the conversation:
“Good
morning Betty, how’s little Christopher at three days old?”
“Hush
Dorothy, he’s sleeping.”
“I
wish I could get my Richard to sleep. He was awake half the night.”
“Just think… all
their lives stretch out in front of them. I hope they become friends Dorothy.”
“I think they will
Betty. I think they will.”
I closed the letter: “All the best wishes I can possibly offer
from your oldest friend,” and added as a PS: “Janet – if you think it’s practical for me to drive up to Steeton in
the next week or two let me know. I don’t mind setting off early in the morning,
maybe spending a night with a friend in Skipton.”
In
the event I drove up the following Sunday because it was the Bank Holiday the
following day, staying with friends who live in Knaresborough, and drove over
to Richard’s house in the village of Steeton the following day. On a whim, as I
passed through Cross Hills I called into Malsis School, up that winding drive,
and parked my car in front of the pillared entrance. It was deserted, and the
front door was locked, but as I wandered around the outside of the old building I thought about how
Richard and I had roller-skated together along these same pathways over 50 years
ago.
Then
I drove to Richard’s house. Janet made me a cup of tea and told me Richard was
sleeping upstairs. She would wake him soon. I chatted with her and their children,
some from their marriage and others from Richard and Janet’s previous
marriages. Then I went upstairs. Richard was lying in bed, looking 20 years
older than me, as thin as a pencil and with a long white beard. I thought he looked
like Rip Van Winkle, barely recognisable from the boy and man I once knew. He looked
very frail. He smiled but didn’t talk much, and even when he did I barely recognised his voice, so I did most of the talking, about music,
about families, about my visit to Malsis, about how long we had known one
another. Janet sat on the other side of the bed and listened. Eventually she said the visit was tiring him out so I shook hands
with Richard for the last time, gave him a hug, went back downstairs, made my
farewells and drove back down south.
Two
days later Richard died. Janet called to tell me and to say that my visit had seemed
to act as a closure for my oldest friend, the friend I knew from the day he was
born to two days before he left us. I didn’t go to the funeral. “There’s no
need,” said Janet. “Your visit was all that Richard wanted. It made him so
happy.”
1 comment:
Thanks for the touching story, Chris.
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